romance

Jeff and I will have been married ten years this August. When I was a kid, ten years seemed like an eternity. In some ways it still seems like forever to me, but in a good way.

I used to think that a romantic relationship should be a constant whirlwind of passion, flowers, and candlelit dinners. The early flush of a relationship is almost always a heady one; you can't stand to be away from the other person for more than a few minutes, you think about him all the time, and when the two of you are together, you're floating on a cloud of constant ecstasy and agony.

Eventually, this tumult of emotion fades somewhat. Some interpret this as meaning that the relationship is having problems. Some leave the relationship to find another; it can be like a drug, that initial flush of romance. Personally, I'm immensely grateful that my relationship with Jeff "settled". I would be a basket case by now if I had to endure ten years of the rollercoaster of emotions earlier in our relationship.

I think the most rewarding stage of a romantic relationship comes after the "honeymoon" period, when a certain comfort is established. "'Comfort'", I hear you sneer, "You mean like an old slipper or badly worn couch!" But that's not what I mean at all. By comfort, I mean the knowledge that the other person knows everything about you, both good and bad, and hasn't run screaming. You've seen each other at your worst, and through difficult times.

Jeff supported me as I watched my mother die from cancer; he was there in the surreal, nightmarish days after my brother and his wife were killed in a car accident. Times like those will either break or strengthen a relationship; ours grew much stronger.

Jeff is my best friend. Sometimes it's easy to forget that, and we'll treat each other in ways we would never treat our other close friends. It's also hard not to take each other for granted sometimes. Overall, though, I think we've done well (and plan to do better). The passion is still there, but it's a quieter and more enduring passion than in the "flowers and yearning poetry" stage.

And we still have candlelit dinners. :-)

Today's Blatherpic:

My first snow angel of the winter, up at the cottage this past weekend.

tea

It rained in Toronto yesterday, yuk. I'd far prefer a blizzard to rain, especially the kind of rain which hasn't quite made up its mind whether or not to turn to ice, and chills to the bone.


Best wishes to those who are gathering at ConThirteena, the 13th UK Filk Convention. Tim and Annie Walker are GoHs, Barry and Sally Childs-Helton are Overseas Guests of Honour, and Scott Snyder is a Special Guest. I wish I could be there; Urban Tapestry had a TON of fun at last year's UK Filk Convention.

Jeff and I went to see "Finding Forrester" a couple of nights ago (on our "date night") and both of us liked it. I found it very similar to "Good Will Hunting", but the emphasis on writing instead of mathematics was irresistable to me. I thought that Sean Connery was especially appealing in the movie. ;-) I'm a sucker for older, balding men with Scottish accents.

After the movie, we browsed a nearby Chapters bookstore, and I picked up my favourite hot drink: a short, nonfat, Lactaid Tazo Chai Tea. My friend Alison George introduced me to this Starbucks drink, and I've been hooked ever since. My only problem is that it tends to give me the hiccups. I take a sip, I hiccup, I take another sip, I hiccup. It's worth it, though.

Are there any tea drinkers out there? Black or herbal? I prefer herbal. Jeff introduced me to herbal teas. I still have strong memories of cups of sweetened blackcurrant tea in front of the fire while Jeff played guitar in his pirate shirt. Jeff will try making me take out that bit about the pirate shirt, I'm sure, but I won't. I loved that shirt, with its puffy sleeves and drawstring neck; any guy wearing that sort of thing now would be laughed off the street, of course, but back then it was dashing and romantic. I bet Jeff's going to try to make me take out this whole paragraph now. :-)

But back to tea. I like strongly flavoured teas which are naturally sweet, like cinnamon and licorice and ginger and chai. I'm thinking about making my own ginger tea from scratch, just to see if I can do it. Any advice much appreciated. :-)

Today's Blatherpic:
A self-portrait photograph by my 6-year-old niece, Sara.

baby!

Many congrats to Andrea and Tom!! :-)

From Blatherchat:

"Hello Everyone, Tom and I are very happy and proud to announce the arrival of our son, Nicholas Ryan Dale Algeo! Here are the stats: Date: January 28th, 2001 Time: 7:26 am Weight: 20.5 inches Weight: 6 lb 6.7 oz Hair: Reddish brown Eyes: Deep blue Health: Excellent Tom and I are doing quite well . . . Yes we're tired <grin> but _definitely_ very well. Feel free to forward/post this information to whomever and wherever you please <big grin>. Pictures will follow in a few days . . . . (which will be posted on my web site . . .)"

For more info, check out Andrea's Zen Cappuccino Corner.

survivor

Ok, so I admit I watched the premiere of Survivor II last night. It was on after the Superbowl, an event in which I had zero interest, so I kept switching from the Superbowl channel to the Japan Skating Championship to Die Hard 2 to the Superbowl channel, waiting for the show to start. I never watched the first Survivor (except part of the last episode, while waiting for my flight in the Philadelphia Airport). I'll likely not watch any more Survivor II episodes (which will be airing on Urban Tapestry practice nights anyway). The Survivor participants in this sequel seem to be more buff and tough than the ones in the first show. Plus is it my imagination, or do some of them hate each other already?

Speaking of Survivor, check out Dot Com Survivor, a free online game.

I woke up a bit sore from the weekend...mainly my upper arms, probably from leaning on ski poles while sludge-wading. Better get back to the gym!

Today's Blatherpic:
Cottage photo. An airhole on the lake; we were careful to avoid these on the way over to the cottage.

cottage weekend

Just got home from the cottage. Alison George, Jeff Latto, my Jeff, and I went up on Friday. I was a bit worried because I had heard that the ice wasn't entirely stable, and was thinner than was usual this time of year. We got across okay, however. I found it a bit tough going, slugging through ankle-high slush in my Sorels, but found it easier once I was able to switch to snowshoes.

Once we arrived at the cottage, we had to open up some sleeping cabins, light a fire, chop a hole through the ice for water, and shovel some pathways through the hip-deep snow. By the time we were finished, it was dark. The stars were amazing; much clearer than in the city. Jeff L. made an ice candle holder by pouring water into a pail, letting it freeze almost completely, and then carving a hole in the middle. Alison and Jeff R. made several more the next day.

Caramel muffins, bananas, coffee and juice for breakfast the next morning, then we set off on our cross-country skis to explore the frozen lake. The sky was a brilliant blue, with the sun turned the broad expanse of snow and ice into white fire; it was nearly painful to try looking around without the protection of sunglasses. Slush kept freezing onto the bottom of our skis, making it necessary to stop several times during the trip to scrape off the ice. We had a picnic lunch on a sun-warmed rock on the other side of the lake.

Much napping, reading, and snacking. A marten came to visit several times, attracted by the birdseed that Jeff R. had sprinkled on the deck.

One of my personal highlights of the weekend was sitting on a deck chair that Jeff L. had dragged onto the frozen lake for me, closing my eyes and letting the setting sun warm my face. Layered in fleece and Gore-Tex, I wasn't cold at all...it was incredibly relaxing, sitting there on the ice. The best part was the silence; it's so rare to experience that kind of silence in the city...no traffic, no planes, no crowds. Just the occasional hissing of snow drifting across the ice and the call of a winter bird from the forest. I dozed off, but woke when the sun went down and it suddenly got colder.

Dinner that night was courtesy Jeff L. and Alison; steak, mushrooms, and red peppers, cooked on the barbecue, with slices of blue cheese to go with the steak. The homemade candle holders were beautiful in the darkness, candlelight flickering through the ice.

The next morning, Jeff R. shovelled out an ice rink in front of the cottage, in preparation for my nieces' visit (Sara and Annie are coming to visit the cottage with their parents next weekend). We took bucketfuls of water and spread it onto the ice to make a smoother skating surface.

Going back across the lake this morning was easier since most of the slush had frozen over. A wonderful weekend, but it seemed way too short. :-)