joy

Jeff, on a trampoline this past weekend.

Got the go-ahead on three more short articles. One of the articles is for young musicians/singers about how to start your own music group...should be fun to write. :-) I'm also continuing to work on queries for other markets.

I'm really enjoying getting back to working on my novel. I'm still determined to get two manuscripts to my agent by the end of the year. As long as I stick to my daily wordcount quota of rewritten/edited 1000 words a weekday, I should be fine. On bad arm days I'm under my quota, but most days I go a bit over. This self-imposed schedule assumes that I can increase this quote to 1500-2000 words a day as my arms continue to recover from tendinitis.

It's such a joy to be finally able to type as fast as I'd like to, even though I can't type for as long as I'd like to. :-) The word "joy" is not an exaggeration. For the past fourteen months, I've felt as if I've been in one of those dreams where you try to run but feel like you're running in molasses, your limbs are that slow and unresponsive...except it's been with typing instead, and there's much more pain involved.

As someone who relies heavily on a computer for work and much of her communication, it's been incredibly difficult at times, especially immediately after setbacks like the sprained elbow.

The danger now is letting the euphoria of being able to type again lure me into another setback. I love writing. And when I get into the rhythm of a good writing day, when the ideas are coming and I feel as if I want to keep writing forever, it's very, very hard to stop when that annoying little voice on my computer alarm pipes up with "TIME FOR AN ARM BREAK!"

Woohoo, I've upgraded from 2 lb weights to 3 lb! I do about 100 reps throughout the day, various arm exercises. Still baby-weights, I know, but it means my arms are still getting stronger, which means I should be able to type for longer at a time without getting tired, which means I'm that much closer to being completely healed.

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meeting Liam

Okay, I lied when I said I was always going to post in the afternoons. I wrote this Blathering yesterday at the end of the day, am posting it this morning. Thus I once again weasel out of committing to a regular Blatherings posting schedule!

Anyway, I met with Liam O'Donnell in a coffee shop yesterday afternoon. Liam's a children's author I met in one of the Orkut writing communities; we decided to get together in person for the first time.

I find it's always a bit awkward setting up a meeting with someone you met online. Without discussing it explicitly, the general rule is to pick a public place (so if the person decides to go suddenly loopy, others will be there to help wrestle the axe out of his or her hands) and it's usually safer to opt for coffee rather than a meal to limit the possibly agony-time if things don't go well.

Realized within a few minutes of meeting Liam that I didn't have to worry, and hopefully he realized I wasn't the axe-wielding type as well. He's very cool, and we got along well. So well that when it was time to part ways I felt like it hadn't been long enough, there was still so much to talk about! I suspect we'll be hanging out again.

Anyway, do check out Liam's Web site and his blog. Among other projects, Liam has developed educational radio plays for the BBC, written articles for the National Post newspaper, adapted TV scripts for Kids Can Press, and created original comics for A&C Black Publishers and Owl Magazine. Loved the last paragraph in his online bio:

"In addition to writing for young readers, I have delivered hot food in restaurants, cold tea on movie sets, slimy fish in Dublin, bottled water in Vancouver, and bad jokes in theme parks as a professional juggler."

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transit of venus

The small speck on the far right of the sun is Venus.

Today's pics are courtesy my husband Jeff, who was out very early this morning to watch the Venus moving across the face of the Sun along with other members of the Royal Astronomical Society of Canada (through filters and such...it's always a bad idea to look at the sun directly, of course). A transit of Venus is so rare that no human now alive has witnessed this celestial event up to now.

Where was I? Asleep in bed. While I appreciate the rarity of this event, I didn't anticipate the event as much as Jeff, contenting myself with the photos he brought home on his digital camera instead.

More info about the transit of Venus here.

I'll be updating Blatherings in the afternoon rather than mornings most days from now on, by the way. Makes more sense to spend arm points on my book and other writing first, then on Blatherings if I have any points left. Rewrite of my book going well though slowly because of frequent arm breaks; I'm up to 7,000 words.

Had a good practice with Allison and Jodi last night! One of our goals was to learn back-up to one of Chris Conway's newer songs for performing with him in concert next month (he's the main Filk Guest at Confluence in Pittsburgh). Chris sent up some MP3s, which Jodi burned onto a CD for us to practise with. Unfortunately Allison's CD player was out of batteries. :-( Fortunately, Jodi's car had a CD player! So we sat in the car for about 20 minutes, working on our three-part backup harmonies and such. Much giggling; it's a fun song. I'm sure passersby were curious, especially Allison's landlady, who was mowing the lawn in front of the building and must have thought we were a bit odd.

Took me about 3 hours travel time for 2 hrs of actual practice time in Richmond Hill, but I still think it was worth it. :-) Always fun hanging out with Allison and Jodi. Eddie the cat was not as neurotic as last time, though he did make sure we gave him the attention he thought he deserved from time to time, and he still seems quite enamoured of Jodi. He tried to accompany her home, but Allison cruelly prevented his escape.

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partypics and childless follow-up

John opening his birthday gift, a camcorder, which was
a group gift organized by his wife, Kristen (on right, holding
their son, Jamie).

Today's photos are from a 40th birthday party for my friend, John Chew. Lots of fun, some great conversations. Just a few highlights:

- When John (who is a huge Scrabble fan) gave us a tour of their garden and he pointed out that the names of one of their bushes had TWO spellings in Scrabble.

- Taking photos of Michelle, always a joy. >:-)

- Mrs. Sagara's miso stew. Yum.

- John trying to figure out the mathematical significance of the arrangement of candles on his cake before cutting it (I believe this is an annual tradition between him and Justin...this time, Justin arranged the candles).

- Stairway conversation with Luisa.



Tom and Michelle.

Thanks for all the comments about my posting yesterday about not having children. The following are excerpts from some of the follow-up postings in Blatherchat and Livejournal (for full comments, see those message boards).



Mark Thompson. We hung out at his place after the party.

"It sounds like you and I have very similar outlooks on the idea of children. I'm really happy to be 'Uncle Rob' to a large number of honorary nieces and nephews, but I've never especially wanted children of my own. It's nice to be reminded that we're not the only childfree people who also genuinely like children." - R.

"I totally respect your choice not to have children. There are wonderful things about being a parent and I went into it with my eyes wide open (well - as wide as they could be) and knowing I very much wanted to be a parent. However, I'd be in total denial if I didn't admit moments of 'auuugh! What was I thinking!??' or at least of 'gee, remember life before children, I wonder if my child-less friends ever ponder what life would be like with children? - maybe I could loan them mine for a weekend??'" - M.



Lots of great food! Including homemade miso stew by Michelle's mom, yum. From L to R: Andy, Michelle, Tom, David, Bronwyn, Reid.

"I've worked with kids whose parents should never have been allowed to have kids. I've watched couples who actively dislike kids distance themselves from friends who have had kids. I've shared the pain of friends who desperately wanted children and seen many different outcomes to that problem. I've often envied your relationships with your nieces, and have worked on the relationships with my own as a result. The decision to have children is not often made, it is thrust upon a couple, the same applies to not having kids. I'm just glad you and Jeff are happy the way you are, and have children in your lives that you can care for and help." - H.



John's dad.

"Most people don't seem to make a decision one way or the other; they drift into it. Kudos for thinking things through and doing what you think is best." - M.

"Debbie, I honor and respect your decision to not have children. You're both busy career people. It would be difficult-to-impossible for you and Jeff to raise a kid and continue both careers as they are now. And thanks for saying that you admire other people's children. I've met too many childless-by-choice couples who believe that no one else should have them either.

...Now, what you and Jeff could do is find one of those computer-generated-composite-picture kiosks and get a picture of what a child of yours would look like. And when someone asks, show them the picture. :-)" - J.



Waiting for the cake to be cut.

"...The kind of weird thing was that although I was trying really hard to have a child, I was also a little scared it would actually work! Like you and Jeff, our life as a couple was really fun, and we often consoled ourselves with the thought that at least we didn't seem to need children to make our marriage complete. I often felt like emailing you, to chat about the whole thing. Before going through it, I never understood how people could want a child so much that they would endure fertility treatment, and then eventually just stop. In the end, we were prepared to make that same decision one day.

Making serious decisions about whether or not to have children is certainly character-building! We ended up with a great kid, when we were really ready for him. I'm kind of glad we were forced to put some serious thought into the whole issue, but oh, for a time machine..." - J.



Kaarel playing Puerto Rico.

"For years I have watched all my female friends & family members have babies & each time they always have to ask, 'When are you having babies??'. Each time I take a nice deep breath & say, 'Probably never' (you can never be 100% sure, right?). Like you, I want the decision to be a good one. I don't ever want to get caught up in the romance of it all, only to wonder silently, 'What was I thinking?!', a few years into it. I have felt this way since I was about 18 years old & have tried to explain it to people over & over. And yet I always hear the same responses, 'Oh, wait until you meet a nice man & you will change your mind' or 'You will change your mind when you get older'. I think it's assumed that women are somehow slaves to their hormones & that we can't possibly want anything else. Well, I'm 31 & I still feel the same way. I've met a lot of amazing men (and some not-so-amazing ones!) & I still haven't changed my mind. I can't even get comfortable with the idea of marriage, never mind something as serious as having babies!" - J.



Andy.

"Amen to making choices, rather than just falling into them. Well, god knows Paul and I waited long enough to finally decide to go ahead, and we don't regret it, but it was a long and difficult path for me, to come to a decision to go ahead and have kids, and because I worked it out first, I'm actually quite comfortable and content that we went down the path we did.

Now with the hindsight/knowledge that comes with having the kids (with no turning back-- god knows you can't throw them back like a fish or something!), I can see clearly that my life would have been just fine either way, whichever road I had taken. It would have been different in many ways, but I remain essentially the same person I was before kids. A bit more protective of kids, fiercer in rushing to their defense, perhaps. But I'm really glad I got the chance to have a career first, and to realize that a career is, when it comes right down to it, still just work; it does not define everything you are as a person. Parenthood adds a whole new layer to who you are, certainly, but not having kids doesn't make you less of a person, you just develop outward in other directions that parents don't have the time or energy for. Just like one comes to the realization that there just isn't going to be enough time to do all the things you'd like to, and you have to start choosing more carefully what you spend your time on...." - B.



Ally and Luisa.

"My friend Kathye and I have said to each other 'I wish I'd become a parent the way you did.' Kathye is pregnant for the 3rd time. All of her kids were complete surprises. The first 2 times they were taking chances and this third time they weren't. (Kathye is the 1% failure rate on condoms that proves the rule)

Scott and I actually planned to get pregnant. We made that conscious choice to turn our lives upside down for a demanding, tiny human being that didn't know how to use a toilet. I'm envious that Kathye didn't have to make the decision and she's envious that I got to make the decision. So, even when you do have kids you still reflect on how they got to be here.

And, you are welcome to come babysit anytime Deb." - A.



Reid and Ronnie.

"WE never wanted to have kids either. I don't think our decision was ever questioned very much, though. For one thing we never got married until last year, for another, neither of us is terribly great about having small children about. Somehow we do seem to lack the patience. I suppose I might like a child from 8 years onward. But that, too, is on a theoretical scale. And at my age I think it is too late to think about it anyway. I seem to lack motherly instincts." - J.

"Just wanted to say - what a great picture of Jeff. :) Full of joy and exuberance that kids can bring to your life, whether they are yours or not. :)" - S.

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having children (or not)

Had to share the above photo, with one of our nephews cheerfully digging his fingers into Jeff's face yesterday at a family gathering.

Jeff and I don't have kids of our own, have never tried to have kids of our own. Earlier on in our marriage, we often encountered curiosity about our decision not to have kids. We both enjoy spending time with children and actually do -like- children, so I don't blame people for being confused.

On rare occasion, I used to run into near-resentment from some people about our decision not to have kids, or the attitude that there must be something wrong with me NOT to want children.

My attitude is this: children are an incredible gift, sometimes taken for granted. If I was going to have children, I would never want to drift into it or by default; I would want it to be a fully conscious decision, with complete awareness and acceptance of the responsibilities involved. Part of this package is also acceptance of the sacrifices involved (and hopefully the rewards as well, but that's not a given) and willingness to adjust life priorities to reflect this decision.

Sometimes I do wonder briefly about what my life would have been like if Jeff and I had chosen to have children. Much different than my life now, I suspect. :-) I have never regretted our decision, not even for a moment.

Not having my own children makes me appreciate other people's children even more, ironically. I enjoy spending some time with them (well, most of them), getting to know them, figuring out how their heads work.

And I appreciate even more those parents who make the decision to have kids and do a decent job at it. :-)

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